The Unstable Atom

Reflecting over life through weird, crazy, ever changing, euphoric, absurd, confused and at times impartial lenses -a journey of curiosity and questions with my two alter egos.. as I try to fall out of the stagnation of instability.. or the desperate attempt to remain..

So, this a bit off topic right at the start of the year, though the first quarter is drawing to a close. Since I got some time off at work and not in the physical state to pro-actively pick up a task, i thought i wold write something, and something not too heavy (health not permitting too much overthinking :P). Past few years have been something of an unexpected phenomenon. Zooming out, none of the things that life threw at me were something i wanted and hence never foreseen. Though each led to the other in some way. This one is about new years. All my new years till 2015 had been spent with familiar people in the same way, almost always craving the company of a particular someone, and I did get it too only to find it was all a sham. So, starting with 2015, I found myself spending that day with new people and at different places! Its been 3 new year's eves spent away from home, with new people/complete strangers. Almost each time was by choice and not due to circumstance. It just led me to wonder what this new year would have in store.. I turned 30 this year. Of all the years of running around, and a brief illusion of thinking things would settle, I find myself repeatedly thinking this over. They say if you want different results then change what you do. I've done it all. Changed all sorts of things. One thing i refuse to change is the person I'm at my core- someone who gives. I am a giver and that i stubbornly guard. It keeps me sane. It is who i am. So lets see what this year does.. And that's about it really. :)