The Unstable Atom

Reflecting over life through weird, crazy, ever changing, euphoric, absurd, confused and at times impartial lenses -a journey of curiosity and questions with my two alter egos.. as I try to fall out of the stagnation of instability.. or the desperate attempt to remain..

The familiar feeling of dread slowly settles in.. It comes in form of a deep flipping over of the gut. I sit at my desk today with no desire to do anything. I just sit and lazily even morosely flip through Pottermore and fantastic beasts. I get sorted into my Hogwarts (once more- Gryffindor) and Ilvermorny (Thunderbird) houses. It lifts my mood a bit since Gryffindors are brave and Thunderbirds are adventurers and represent the soul. I checked Thunderbird on fantastic beasts i liked the description too of being able to create a storm all by flapping of their wings. It also connects to my Chinese zodiac of a Dragon and some qualities of the Fish too! So it makes my mood a little lighter. I go on to read bits and pieces on Pottermore and trying to find out more about the Swooping Evil, all the time swooning and sighing over Eddie! Slowly as the day progresses my mood gets darker. I have a few discussions with colleagues over piece of work. Somehow what I was expecting to be a fun-filled day turned out to be a bit of a dull haze. Slowly people start leaving for the day, wishing everyone happy new year. I wish them back. I move the contents of my bag to a backpack so its easier to carry. And then i wait for time to pass. I check-up on my friend about the timing for me to reach his place. I'm looking forward to the weekend but a sense of dread has surrounded me and is just sitting in my throat and gut like a lump of stubborn tar. I will go about the activities as planned. Maybe the air outside will make me feel a better. I like the cold. The office is all empty now save for a few team mates trying to salvage an unexpected critical work situation. Everyone seems happy though, i somehow feel a bit detached. Wonder what it is. I will now book a cab and set in motion the weekend. This is how my last day of the year at work ends. As non-dramatic as possible! But then thats how life is, its always been upto me to create the drama, being the Dragon and Thunderbird that i am! :) Signing off 2016 with a "Cheers" Have a lovely year ahead, and may god bless you with one or many different perspectives the coming year! Take care..