The Unstable Atom

Reflecting over life through weird, crazy, ever changing, euphoric, absurd, confused and at times impartial lenses -a journey of curiosity and questions with my two alter egos.. as I try to fall out of the stagnation of instability.. or the desperate attempt to remain..

She knew she was a misfit
From the get go
She did want the dolls but never felt much interested in them
She prefered disecting dead animals, and scraping her knees on the bicycle
She wanted the guys too later but even then was left wanting something else
Exploring the untouched was a bigger thrill for her
She could see the crowd and where they were going
She could pretend to fit in but never wanted to
She was always a misfit!
She never belonged. She clipped her own wings, and she wistfully watched the tiny pretty birds flutter by.
It wasn't asked of her neither was it needed but she still did it..
She refused the endless skies and chose to remain rooted.
She was a dragon, the one with her wings clipped and her fires choked.
The sparks flew out from time to time, but the fire inside was so strong that they burnt her from within each time..
She was a misfit
But she kept going.. Being who she was..

There was an ache that started at her loins and ended at the heart..
There was another that started at the heart and ended at the loins..
She was yet to come across one that would never end..

These hurdles i was supposed to jump.
Each and every one of them.
Occasionally romance one maybe.
But by and large each one was to be jumped.
It was meant to be a race probably..
And racing I am.. Only that i am sitting down on the ground..
Romancing one right now..
I don't jump them, i tackle them and get down with them..
With each one.
The temptation is irresistible..
Or maybe it is not..
Maybe i just want to do it.
Its not cause there is no strength in my legs to jump them..
Oh no, the legs are very strong alright..
Its just that i don't want to go ahead and look back to think how the mud would've tasted had i fallen down there..
And so i do..
Who knows what the prize is at the end?
Maybe there is something maybe not..
Racing i am, at my own pace
Though some would say I'm going too fast with the falling!
And not fast enough with the skipping.. :)
But then so be it.. Better to fall than to keep looking back and regretting.
While i am at it, let me enjoy my current hurdle :D cheers!