The Unstable Atom

Reflecting over life through weird, crazy, ever changing, euphoric, absurd, confused and at times impartial lenses -a journey of curiosity and questions with my two alter egos.. as I try to fall out of the stagnation of instability.. or the desperate attempt to remain..

Stepping into the water, he tests it first.
Apprehensive, scared.
Full of lust, craving for the deep dark blue, almost black..
Once he gets in there is no turning back.
The scars on his back tingle with excitement. Also reminding him of the wounds and the fact that they have now healed.
His naked strong chest puffed, rising and falling rapidly.
The cold night aid ripping at him lungs.
He looks on ahead standing, still on the outside as a war rages inside.
Images flash in the night sky before him..
Pictures from another life.. Long forgotten biding a final goodbye..
A tiny wave grabs his attention back.
The water is inviting, a steady calm sheet of icy black.
He need only take the leap, and he will be rescued.
She had promised him so.
But the fear has him gripped in its deadly clutches, rooting him with its dirty dark nails dug deep into the shores of uncertainty.
Standing there suddenly the horizon lights up with chinks of light..
Tiny bright fairies sprinkled across the darkness.
And in that moment he knows!
The chains of fear freeze at his feet, crack and fall away.
The smile spreads warmth and envelops his soul..
And before he knows it, the water has cuddled him carefully at her heart.
His faith restored,
His fears washed off,
He swims.. In the deep dark cold..
The warm loving bossom of this seemingly cold devil heals all the residual pain, makes him whole.
And he swims, to his heart's content..
Looking to the horizon, and many more to be reached with his beloved.
Free finally..