The Unstable Atom

Reflecting over life through weird, crazy, ever changing, euphoric, absurd, confused and at times impartial lenses -a journey of curiosity and questions with my two alter egos.. as I try to fall out of the stagnation of instability.. or the desperate attempt to remain..

I'm a curtain,
Woven from the fabric of cloth, water, time, flesh and souls..
I'm a curtain,
In the brothel of an old maid
Transparent, barely there, namesake, not to hide but to allure..
I'm a curtain,
In the hotel of a wealthy dame
Thick, rich, luscious, dark, arrogantly fulfilling all purpose..
I'm a curtain,
On the face of a woman
Black and sometimes red..
I'm a curtain,
On the face of the ocean
Eating up everything that falls on my delicate body..
To carry it within the depth of my seeming innocence and peace..
I'm a curtain,
On the face of the sky
Shining, cutting through the darkness like diamonds on a dusky beauty's neck..
I'm a curtain,
For all things hidden, and of all that lie bare, alluring..
I'm a curtain,
For all your desires, and all that you fear, for all that lies waiting, for all that takes charge..
I'm a curtain,
Flimsy, stubborn
Present.

To asel ka ajun tithe? Konala vicharu mi, ani kashi parat jau? Kuthe haravali ti vaat? To asel ka tithech ajun, jithun sparshun gele mi tyas, To gavasla an swatahlach harvun basle.. Tya shanta sagarahun khol dolyanni ajun hi baghel tasach majhya kade? Ya veles tari mithin gathel ka mala, uchlun dharel jagavar? Ya mahasagara pasun dur swatahchya gavi neshil ka re mala? To asel ka ajun tithech? Kashi shodhun mi tyachi vaat? Varya barobar anek bolave dhadale, an pakshyan barobar nirop.. Kasa sutla hath kon jane eka-eki.. Ye na mala shodhat kadhi tari, Nhe na mala ghari.. aplya ghari.. Kuthe asel to.. Kuthya vaat varate.. Prashnanche vadal umatate, Ani hi ashich tarangat rahate, hatta karate, udham majavte.. Shanta kay hot nahi, ani sagarala hi houn det nahi.. Fakta tichya tya khadka sathi.. Ti laat..

Samudrachya latan mule ghasun nighlela to, To shanta khadak ek. Tithech stabdha basun asto.. Pratyek laatebarobar vatte, Hich ka ti majhi wali laat? Aga alis ka priye? Ata tari gheun jashil na mala barobar.. Ya samudra pali kade, tujhya sobat, Tujhya gaavi.. Alis ka ga priye?? Pratyek anolkhi laate barobar bolavna pathavto.. An roj tithech basun rahato. Jhijat, Tichya athvanit. Hasat, Tichi vaat baghat. Ashrunni awgha sagar tudumbba bharto, Pan te shanta gambhir hasya kayam rahata.. Kon jane, tu yeshil atta.. Jhijat jato, thambun rahato.. Tyachya tya laatechya yenyachi aas laun.. Tasach korda.. Olya dolyancha.. To khadak..

Its been a year!!!! since i got my baby home.. :) A year of a multitude of torn bitten stuff including our limbs.. A year of jolting awake to her midnight, dawn, morning, afternoon, evening and night barks! :S A year of screaming my lungs out, of getting my patience tested.. A year of extravagant toys and treats.. A year of utter joy, fulfillment, learning and growing.. Thank you my angel.. for coming into our lives.. and bringing all the joy that you have brought with your tiny feet, sharp teeth and glowing bright intelligent eyes! ;) I love you tons!! :) :) MUAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
God bless you naughty devil!! :) :) :D :D Let us continue of mad carnival through life.. ;) hopefully with lesser biting! :)

Sandhi prakash sawala..
Daathun ala gala..
Sugandha haluch perala koni to..
Majhya hrudayat tujha?
Haluvar sparshun gela..
Kon to moor-pisa pari..
Kanha navhe majha..
Ha tar tyacha sakha sobati.. :) :)

What is it about farewells..
I do not like them.
So poignant..
You get used to having someone around..
And then suddenly no more..
What do you do with that empty space? However tiny it is..
Even if you know that person very well, for a very long time or you don't..
Still, when someone manages to constrict your throat at the thought of them leaving, means that the person does have a special place in your heart..
I don't like goodbyes..
Not when people are meant to be somewhere and are torn apart for no reason...
And then only two words make sense- "Not fair"

Espresso in the smaller mug :)

I change my skin today
Gaining from some stranger
His, a different bus on a different route
A calling so deep and painful
And yet i'm stuck..
In these summer evenings..

Stay with me a while..
A while being our lifetime..

Re-discovering the self.. :)
I don't need no solace.. and i don't need no crowd..
I am with me everywhere, cause i know who i am deep down.. :)
No matter the storms and trials you bring for me, wrapped as a gift..
I'll take them on and dress with them, its you and they are only mine..
You look troubled and scared, i give you a hand..
But this is the path of knowing yourself, i go only this far..
Wait i shall till the world's end and even after..
You need to go on and perhaps return.. with your own true self..
Discover yourself my love,
for your eyes are clouded now, but they were not before..
In times of joy, in times of cheer..
Remove your mask, and look within..
For i shall wait for eternity
Because this is it.. eternity..

Freedom comes at the cost of the pain.
At times physical abuse and some times of introspection.
Once you realize of the entrapment, this pain is becomes very small in comparison.
When you see someone else trapped, someone who loves you dearly, and when that person is helpless due to various reasons to attain freedom form those trapping him, that pain is even worse..
This is the time you need to be strong, cause no matter how much you want to help, it is only that trapped person who needs to break-free.
But at times its nice to have a re-assurance that the efforts are on, but most of the times life won't be so generous.
When certain wheels have been set in motion, there is no stopping them, even though people around might not hear the sounds of the churning, it is going on in the background.
Wheels of destiny, love, strength, of a higher truth.. Higher and stronger than any man made bondage..
Such freedom struggle is greater than any war. The struggle of a person with himself, when faced with the reality of life.
The pain of uprooting the masks he's been wearing for life, the masks that have become his identity. The trauma of when he is awakened and is made to face the real person within.
The pain is too much to bear..
But if he stops then he will be haunted the rest of his life by the decayed fake masks.
And so like a solider of war he has to fight..
There is nothing more precious than Freedom and you ought to earn it on your own..
You deserve it and now is the time to earn it..
Good luck my bull..
Forever yours,
Prawn

When strength exists why is it so difficult to exercise it when required?
Or maybe it doesn't succumb to your directions and will come into play only when it wills? but that's not done right?!?! :O :|
So shall we let it be as it is or will it to follow? Maybe it just needs a firmer hand.. So here's to strength and the power to exercise it at will :)

47 it is.. :) <3
my favorite number hence forth.. after 29, 9 and 15.. ;) :P

This is a summer of some other time
It is the warmth from another time..
Of a time gone, not long ago..
And of a time to come..
Of a time that is trickling past right now..
Summer weaves an unseen, unknown world..
Subtle magic hidden beneath his strong pungent heat..
Like your love hides beneath layers of lust..
Fragile lust.. and stronger love..
To be seen through the sleazy fabric of hot waves
So unlike the unbearable innocent guilty magic of summer..
This is a summer of another time..
a time that passed and a time that is to come..
A summer of a time that is trickling past us both engulfed in a sweaty lusty embrace..
The subtle magic of summer.. :)

CP- its so freaking hot dude!! what magic!
BP- let nature take its course.
CP- :|
BP- :D :D *running rampant in the afternoon sun*
CP- :| :|