The Unstable Atom

Reflecting over life through weird, crazy, ever changing, euphoric, absurd, confused and at times impartial lenses -a journey of curiosity and questions with my two alter egos.. as I try to fall out of the stagnation of instability.. or the desperate attempt to remain..

She of the doe-y eyes,
Vulnerable, confident and scared all the same..
She sneaks in and makes sure you know it too..
She steals and she wins all that is hers.. and sometimes lets go too, only to find it back..
She breathes, and lives.. she breaks free..
your mother, your child and your lover..
She juggles all with you..
She dreams and fulfils, she makes you feel you'd never known her, and you cannot let go..
She is in your dreams and in your life too..
you have no choice, she is you and you are her too!!

:) from a prawn

Who is yours?

Not two halves and a whole
But two full and a complete


He looks at you and you don't know where to hid yourself..
He can look right through you but will never let you know he did..
He is a hoarder himself and calls me one too..
A glimpse of his says a millions things at a time..
You crave for him to decorate it in words.. he hesitates, because when he does manage to carve them into words, they slash across your being like a million knives.. the pleasure, the pain, the unbearable intensity that he emancipates...
He can sweep you off your feet and out of your mind and then there is no turning back.. He shall always be there watching you..
The eyes which are papery shallow at once and the deepest of dangerous falls next..
He devours like the assailant and pleas as the prey..
He fakes the reality out of life and smokes up a painted picture..
Would you like him to be your dream-catcher? or as core in the life of your being?
you have no choice.. cause he is both.. he is you.. and you him :)

For the Bull.

A lull,
a seemingly infinite slumber..
sleep walking through days..
some pinpricks..
a dream here and there..
the hope to feel it..
and the slumber again..
a certain defeat-like loss..
a hope to drive on..
And then, a sudden flash!
a filling up of spaces..
a moulding, a melting down of barriers..
a meshing up.. seamless togetherness..
of the souls..
and yet an utter loss of memory..
of the joyfulness
of the immense peace..
of the being and the belonging..
of the owning..and being owned.. possessed
of the mating.. of souls.. all over again...
of realisations and fear..
of craving to know.. and yet not..
the return of the unspoken word..
the empowerment of the eyes..
once again.. all over again.. :)
something.. indeed a something....

The calm that is born of depth..
The sallowness wreaks havoc..
My gem lies at the heart..
The heart of the ocean, endlessly deep and calm.. :)

They whisper to me,
of things that would weaken me..
They lure me into their sticky trap,
The same one from which I freed myself..
But the are relentless..
I try not to give in,
I fight back..
For I see your face shining, smiling like a soft reassuring orange sun..
They whisper things..
That freeze me in my track..
The track I've chosen to lead me to you..
I close my ears and my eyes..
my heart shows me the way,
through these capturing shadows..
They keep whispering,
but I choose not to listen, I realise I can!
I walk on..
Through all these known strangers..
I walk to you...
Do they whisper to you too??
Their ensnares shall carry on even when we are dead and gone..

A twinkle,
A flash.
And an unbreakable vow!
Just the one forever..
Over and over again :)

A distant memory lost in a fact
The fact itself feels like a dream
The stubborn strands of this fragile fabric
Still play the game of entanglement and i ripped them apart..
This once and over again..
I dream..
of a distant land,
visions of an emotion,
unknown perhaps to my race..
yet it dances and jeers at me every minute
because it was un-veiled a long time ago..
The memory evaporated under the waters, dissolved in the air, engulfed in eyes of strangers
Left alone to its own devices, to be found, some day..
to bid its time..
a distant memory..

Leaves dance to a vicious beat today
and the blooming flowers cower
as a sign beckons..
a cut on the finger, as the clouds dense up
birds tarry home, as the eyes widen, water and eventually close..
a storm silences all

Cold wet morning..
Sleepy like a warm curled cat..
Leaves fresh and yet lazy with the slight occasional breeze,
like a song birds's dull reluctant yet sweet little tune..
The lone Gulmohar a lush green well endowed fan, a royal fabric marvellously sitting on the hard brown velvety bark...
Cows graze about, sauntering in the dew laden grass..
The palm trees dance to the steadily splattering rain..
Vehicles drift by slowly on empty rain blackened roads..
A cycle lays out its own rhythm..
As the heart today beats to a different drummer..