The Unstable Atom

Reflecting over life through weird, crazy, ever changing, euphoric, absurd, confused and at times impartial lenses -a journey of curiosity and questions with my two alter egos.. as I try to fall out of the stagnation of instability.. or the desperate attempt to remain..

After all that the past year was, everything that it gave me suddenly and everything that it took away just as suddenly, it seems now, today in this moment, that life is back on the track that i'd deviated from.. It the same evening, almost the same feeling that was around 7 months ago, when i newly joined office.. when i was getting to know people around.. when i'd just one buoy that i held on to.. though now people around seem alright, and perphaps they find me to be ok too.. if the ignore the sudden changes in hair styles etc.. hehe.. but yes, right now it feels like i'm back to square one.. After all the excitement, crushed dreams.. i think this is my way to follow.. but hang on, i remember i'd said the same about some other path too!! maybe the are intertwined then? wish i could know.. but contradictorily i feel musch surer than i ever was!! god knows how confusion and certainty live hand in hand peacefully like this.. But feel really contemplative now, more like an external person observing my own life over the past few months..
I knew i had deviated. so badly at that. I fell for something that was never on my mind, not in the wildest of my dreams. I believed, still do somewhere.. Perhaps will continue to believe in whatever i had.. But i need to let go.. of so many things.. so many of my freshly budding dreams.. i realised that you do deviate at times, its good to get lost sometime.. enjoy the ride, but when you are thrown back t othe path that you are meant to follow, you should be able to let go of the deviation.. holding on to it will not bring it back.. But yes you can always believe, that it will come back.. and who knows maybe some day it will.. :)

But for now, surely feels like the old days.. strange, i'd hoped for the circles to stop.. but seems like they will go on.. as nature intends.. completely nature's child it seems.. :) back on track it is then?

Feels as if i'm losing touch..
And yet here they come..
in all their glory..
vanishing in thin air..
:) feels like im losing touch..