The Unstable Atom

Reflecting over life through weird, crazy, ever changing, euphoric, absurd, confused and at times impartial lenses -a journey of curiosity and questions with my two alter egos.. as I try to fall out of the stagnation of instability.. or the desperate attempt to remain..

These are the thoughts which come to my stomach when its on the way home from office in the evening.. It growls and pleads to no avail and then sends the demands to the empty brain.. and I can do nothing but write it out and imagine..
Shrikhandachya golya, Masaledar chicken or butter chicken, butter nan, pizza hut cha pizza, pasta, palak soup, bread pudding (good luck), fresh gulab jamun (Manju kaku), Custard pudding (Mom), Rice and chocolate pudding (Mcleodganj), egg biryani (P.D.), caramel pudding (Hotel Pride), Harabhara Kebab (New yorker's), Red wine- Chantilli Shiraz (11 East street cafe), Kanda bhaji (Sinhagad), Puran poli (Mom), Amti bhat, varan bhat tup loncha, tandoori chicken, paneer tikka, cherries, strawberries, gul poli (Samartha), fish fry surmai, corn in white sauce (Gautam mama), Cheese carrot balls (Sonal), bhel (Kalpana), pani puri, SPDP, Cheese chilli toast, Chakli (Sahil) dipped in tea, bread butter...

And the list goes on till the brain can bear no more.. and the stomach gives up, moaning under the weigth of imagination.. The brain takes on the task of writing so as to ignore the weak signals it keeps receiving.. Until the home turf is in view.. hehe.. ;-)

Minuscule drops of water visiting the earth, splatter on the glass of the bus window..
Small circles in the sky turn into lost lines on the glassy earth,
Creating a mesh of fresh cold liquid, making me see the world though a watery lens..
Drops of water sit on my woolen jacket and form a cozy round cocoon around themselves,
Looking like diamonds studded in an undiscovered coal mine, or a beautiful lady's long dark mane..
Shining brightly and making me smile..
Some fall of the glass and some on the jacket,
Each carrying its on place and its own wisdom with it, within :-)

I like it.. The morning blues.. When I get up and then feel like sleeping again in the comfort of my warm cozy bed. Body pleading to do so, eyes supporting it fully and yet I make it get on. Everytime I come out of the bath having ten minutes extra on hand. The limping walk down the road, hoping for the wound to heal faster. The kinda cute known stranger at the stop. The first awkward smile :-) (was weird. timing!!). The air making its presence felt on my face.. Hair dancing to its tune and eyes close to take it all into my being. "It takes me higher, makes me fly" (Lift- Poets of the fall). I feel no need to protect myself against it like the others do. The hair, the skin, the eyes, none of it.. The pollution finds it place in my hair, unseen yet very much there. Studded invisible gems which will be washed off one friday morning, and the new ones will have a fresh place come monday!

The mom, the dad, later the bosses and the employees.. everyone going about their daily chores.
The vibrations of the bus,
The window pane which slides of its own accord, responding to the brakes.
The occassional smile appearing on my face.. I like it all :-)
The flyovers and the breakfast joints.
The traffic signals and the wise driver-chacha..
The emptiness of the mind, anticipating what awaits it today..
Not in the least worried or bothered,
Living in the present- in the blowing hair and ticklish face, in the sound of the bus and the sight of the passing vehicles.. So many of them!
Anyone like me in there, out there?
Early morning blues?? I like blue.. :-)

Darkness changes all.. The skies, waters, trees, streets, houses, humans and souls..
It loans everyone a certain depth, an identity which they have given it for sake-keeping.. the true self they dare not open in the light.. Or is it something which is not their own but they wish it was and hence borrow it from the night? Darkness helps them get out of the farce.. Why is it that they are scared of their real self? Which lies hidden away from the light? Beneath so many masks? Darkness is the saviour, helping them out of their misery.. Helping them breathe easily with their own dear self. Darkness deepens all bonds- earthly and unearthly.. So is it this blackened darkness which is their true companion? who knows them through and through.. and who helps them be with themselves comfortably? Why can't they just let go and let the light and the dark be one? Why is this self-inflicted conflict in place? Why the two faces? How would it be to bring forth the face that darkness likes and light accepts it? How would we know unless we do it? And why be scared since everyone is in the same league.. Darkness has us all as mistresses and everyone romances it.. So let us now have light as our keep and let it romance us.. :-)
Darkness prevails to help the lost souls regain consciousness and lose it again to light the next morning..