The Unstable Atom

Reflecting over life through weird, crazy, ever changing, euphoric, absurd, confused and at times impartial lenses -a journey of curiosity and questions with my two alter egos.. as I try to fall out of the stagnation of instability.. or the desperate attempt to remain..

(My sincere apologies to all those who can't make sense of this post, its in Marathi. there was no way of expressing all this in english).

Today morning I felt alive. I could connect to every person I saw on the road while riding my bike on the way to college. It takes me 15-20 mins to reach college, today was no different.. Except for a few things.. Aaj pratyekacha ek aunsh majhyat ani majha pratekat ahe asa mala vatat hota. I could literally feel myself in every being and a bit of every being in me.. Gadi varun jatana patkan aplya priyakaracha muka ghenari priyasi.. Aplya taklavar ugavlele thodese kes nirkhun baghnara ek tarun, ani tevdhyat signal sutato.. Reverse janara truck, tyatla na dislela driver, tya mule udnari dhool.. ek navin lagna jhalela jodpa. tichya chehrya varcha te lajra hasu ani tyachya dolyatli chamak. konachya tari lagnacha band, tya mule traslela pan tari tithech ubha rahaychi iccha aslela ek lahan mulga. mala cut marun kahitari pratikriya expect karnare don tarun. dokyavar panyachi ghagar gheun chukichya dishekade baghun, majhya gadi khali yeta-yeta vachleli ek bai. lal ribbons ni bandhlelya don venya ani galyat ek lal kapad odhani mhanun gheun baher khelayla nighaleli tarunpanchya umbarthyavar asleli ek mulgi. rastyajaval gaadi dhutlyamule saathlelya dabkyat dhumbnari dukrachi pille. gaadi valavtana jorat rasta cross karnarya duchaki valyala shivya ghalnara ek six seater wala. constipation jhalay ani toilet milat nai ase expression gheun bus chi vaat baghat ubha aslela ek tarun. ase kahi ani ase ajun kahi mala agdi aplese vatle.. manje apan ahot ase vatle. majha ek aunsh tya sarvan madhe ani tya pratyetkacha ek-ek aunsh majhya madhe.. te sarva purna ani mi, sampurna.. jivanta..

Why is the sky blue and the ocean too? Why is the sky black at night and at the dawn as well? Why do we fall in love to be happy even when we know it hurts like hell? Why is the rainbow so colorful but the rain so dark? Why do the moods swing so badly, n why doesn't the swing break then? Why do you desire for things and when you get them you want to lose them asap? Why do people stay when they have already walked away, and why do they come back when you feel they are not there any more? Why are there twisted tunnels which turn everywhere, small and big, dark and bright, but lead at the same place always? Why are they so many of them and so different too, with the same aim of crushing your heart and sucking up your love? Why can't you have everything and anything you want and keep everyone happy as well? Why do so many why's exists and at times there is not a single one? Why is why a question and why should it always have an answer if it should? Why do we don't accept things we know and which we know are right? Why don't others do the same? Why can't caterpillars fly? Why do they have to become a butterfly? Why is the why so helpful and many a times so painful? Why can't I remember all that I had on my mind to write here? Why do I get lost? Why do I find myself back after getting lost? Why are there blanks? Why do they get filled and then why do they become blank again? Why do I always have something more to say and yet can't find words? Why does the why exist? Why did they create it? Why Why Why?