The Unstable Atom

Reflecting over life through weird, crazy, ever changing, euphoric, absurd, confused and at times impartial lenses -a journey of curiosity and questions with my two alter egos.. as I try to fall out of the stagnation of instability.. or the desperate attempt to remain..

You make me into a strand of slime, which sticks to a rock..
Though supposed to slip n slither, I hold on to you..
You shake me away, I'm your self-invited grit..
I see people smiling away, flowers in the gloom..
Why do they have a right to bloom,
when you crush my being?
You change like light on a shimmering drop,
and leave me astounded..
Dark n purple, a ghostly green, and a sickly yellow is what I feel,
The blue has moss all over it,
The colors no longer have the sheen..
Why did you give them to me, when you didn't want them seen?
My eyes search you..
My heart screeches your name..
With a hundred needles piercing my eyes and a thousand knives slashing through my heart,
The red flowing away reflects you face,
I drink it in eagerly, not wanting to miss out in even a sec of even the your illusion of your presence..
You carelessly walk away, soaked in my blood,
You indifferently wipe it off with that innocent smile..
I smile down to the bottom of your heart banging with a dull thud, and you ruthless trod all over me..
unhearing. unseeing. unfeeling.
Were you always this or is this an illusion too?
My being refuses to believe this self of yous- so untrue, so fake.. such lies.. or is it the real you?
My ray of hope, my sun, my love, break through the barriers and come to me..
I shall help you find the light, I'll help you see through..
Come out of your hiding beind the clouds of doubt,
Let me in.. let me through..
Hold my hand and bring the rainbow in..
Burst through the slime!
Crush the rust!
Slash away the slithering shadows of lies!
Bring in the light!
Come, be mine.
Make me yours..

The sun shines on my skin today,
with a different light in his eyes..
Meant to burn as he is, yet he soothes and heals me today..
Smiling knowingly, he enjoys my confusion at his exhibition of love.
He sows seeds of magenta deep in my heart,
He sprinkles Pink, jade, rust, amethyst, mustard and maroon, beige, grey, azure, white coral, brown, ochre, navy blue, chrome, plum and olive, sliver, aquamarine and lime green, on my being..
Presents me the colors which the rainbow is depreived of,
which he reserved only for me..
The he takes shelter from the clouds and covers himself,
playing hide and seek with my longing.
A deep black is what i love and so unwillingly he gives it to me..
My sun showers me with the cool black but he can't hold back!
He sparkles gold through the soft stark velvety darkness, just to see the smile on my face,
which he planted the moment I felt his presence in my being..
The smile which stays forever..
His presence blows me apart and yet he delicately cuddles me in..
He enters me and all the colors explode and swim around us,
twinkling exhilirated at the happening of and extraodinarily ordinary love..