The Unstable Atom

Reflecting over life through weird, crazy, ever changing, euphoric, absurd, confused and at times impartial lenses -a journey of curiosity and questions with my two alter egos.. as I try to fall out of the stagnation of instability.. or the desperate attempt to remain..

Would the crystalline blue, falling out of the heavens, prick me in the eye, pierce me with agony and wash me out of existence?
Would it bless my soul with peace and serenity?

Would the ever green shade shelter me again?
Would it feed me to the famished creatures of my fears this time?

Would the red liquid rushing from the excruciating wounds behave itself later, if now I swallow it?
Would it cease to exist if I hold on? Would it thrive if I let go?

A blinding short-lived light of insane hope awakens me for an unfortunate instance, tricks me in believing my wishes would come true,
My wishes would defeat my dreams.
My infinite dreams made of nightmares whose jagged unmerciful claws still clutch me close to their wicked cold empty heart, present me to the ghosts of a dead past worth decay.

Burnt by the heat of love, stabbed by the ogle of lust, crushed beneath the saddle of ignorance..

Would it be like my wishes later, if I let the demons decide the fate of my vulnerable soul for now?
Should I let them be my masters? The ruse of humanity, the farces of friendship and the masquerade of love..

Would it be like I want it to be, if I do what they ask me to?
Would it be?

- Super Bitch.

It feels a bit incomplete but everything went blank after this. Its as lost and confused as me! So voila!

Your memories are the lump of hot molten iron in my throat..
They push down and the iron melts more, dropping down,
Cutting through my chest,
Churning and Gashing in my stomach ..
They churn and crush, they slash and gnash my whole being by an intoxicating radiance..
Till I can stand no more, till i succumb to the overpowering refulgence, till I throw up the colorful brightness..
The torturing cruelly agonizing memories come pouring out bidding adieu..
Yet another roller coaster of emotions sets out on a bitter-sweet ride re-visiting the agonies and ecstasies of the foregone..
That molten iron part of yours belongs to me..
Frozen in the moments gone by..
Held there by thin yet strong strands of my love..
When all the dreams were happy and seemed to come true all because of you!
I stretch my hand out unwilling to let go..
Feel your memories caress and console me helping me regain my peace..
Laying motionless then I hold on tight as they hug me back, proving their actuality
At least they shall stay, being a part of my existence.. Clinging.. Forever..
At least they shall stay.. If not you..
- The Unstable Atom

BP- You rock baby!
CP- Totally...